Cursed Lost Souls
Monday, August 6, 2007
The Loneliness Curse
And that's the first Curse which has been chasin me for ovre 5 year or may be 6 i dont know.
anyways, umm gettin back to high school?
ok! .... hi school, my first year was theat year i can consider it the fisrt time to go to the wider world. since, that place i used to live in is so closed community with so much common things all families lived there used to have.
And there i used to be the nice boy" 3ali ebn el nas el kwayeseen" and guys there used to treat me like someone knows nothing, so i couldn't get so much friends actually i got none may be some collegues liked me, but not friends at all, and me and those bunch of guys there who came from the same place and of course the same back ground stuck to eachother as we used to be and we moved to that school at our lil community.
and there am still the nice polite boy, laughin all the time but he's always at the safe side never tries anything of those hi school guys used to do,
never involved in a fight, never don anything at all.
and still we're those bunch of guys who used to live in the same building doin everything together. and i swtarted feeling lonely at that moment i get some ideas ppl find it weird somethings i like to read and talk about ppl around find it weird.
The third year, it was the start of my real loneliness since my thoughts are gettin stronger and i had to shup up for one year and yeah i was in da school among my collegeues and outta the school we're still together but i have that feeling that hey am not belonging here. College, of course it's the place that every hgh school student dreams about and me too used to be the same and at the first day ,
heey welcome to another weird community so huge with so many different kinds of people, clowns, strict asses, and those livin it so weirdly or taht how i used to say it and after a month i refused the soceity so am still stuck to my loneliness and those guys we went together to the same college from the old lil community, and about those guys me turned to mr. thinker and not only the nice boy but nice complicated desperate guy.
and i wasn't the one they think i am but i couldn't share them what i think and what those things i have inside. so, i escaped to the internet, i already used to had some online friends but at that moment it turned to be my life, all ma close and those ppl i can share everything with are online and i started gettin them into ma real life and those other ones are just ppl i waste ma time with, and the loneliness was growin so fast faster than i ever thought and it met my hunter curse in the middle of the way and my loneliness turned to a curse and curse followin me everywhere and whenever get a moment alone it starts knockin ma head so hard and when i try to put maself among ppl or into something to stop that harrassin sound it get so much stronger and stronger and the only thing i can do is to go and set by self and let it takes over me. and till now even when am with ma closest friend who supposes to be the one to get me outta that loneliness and the blue mood he couldn't one person just can do it but our meetings just for couple of hours like twice a week or sth, and the curse sounds stop just with her arrivin and get back right after leavin her.
but, is that enough?!! ...it isn't at all, the only friend u need u can't find her when u need her.
so here i am a good helpless prey for my hunter THE LONELINESS CURSE.
anyways, umm gettin back to high school?
ok! .... hi school, my first year was theat year i can consider it the fisrt time to go to the wider world. since, that place i used to live in is so closed community with so much common things all families lived there used to have.
And there i used to be the nice boy" 3ali ebn el nas el kwayeseen" and guys there used to treat me like someone knows nothing, so i couldn't get so much friends actually i got none may be some collegues liked me, but not friends at all, and me and those bunch of guys there who came from the same place and of course the same back ground stuck to eachother as we used to be and we moved to that school at our lil community.
and there am still the nice polite boy, laughin all the time but he's always at the safe side never tries anything of those hi school guys used to do,
never involved in a fight, never don anything at all.
and still we're those bunch of guys who used to live in the same building doin everything together. and i swtarted feeling lonely at that moment i get some ideas ppl find it weird somethings i like to read and talk about ppl around find it weird.
The third year, it was the start of my real loneliness since my thoughts are gettin stronger and i had to shup up for one year and yeah i was in da school among my collegeues and outta the school we're still together but i have that feeling that hey am not belonging here. College, of course it's the place that every hgh school student dreams about and me too used to be the same and at the first day ,
heey welcome to another weird community so huge with so many different kinds of people, clowns, strict asses, and those livin it so weirdly or taht how i used to say it and after a month i refused the soceity so am still stuck to my loneliness and those guys we went together to the same college from the old lil community, and about those guys me turned to mr. thinker and not only the nice boy but nice complicated desperate guy.
and i wasn't the one they think i am but i couldn't share them what i think and what those things i have inside. so, i escaped to the internet, i already used to had some online friends but at that moment it turned to be my life, all ma close and those ppl i can share everything with are online and i started gettin them into ma real life and those other ones are just ppl i waste ma time with, and the loneliness was growin so fast faster than i ever thought and it met my hunter curse in the middle of the way and my loneliness turned to a curse and curse followin me everywhere and whenever get a moment alone it starts knockin ma head so hard and when i try to put maself among ppl or into something to stop that harrassin sound it get so much stronger and stronger and the only thing i can do is to go and set by self and let it takes over me. and till now even when am with ma closest friend who supposes to be the one to get me outta that loneliness and the blue mood he couldn't one person just can do it but our meetings just for couple of hours like twice a week or sth, and the curse sounds stop just with her arrivin and get back right after leavin her.
but, is that enough?!! ...it isn't at all, the only friend u need u can't find her when u need her.
so here i am a good helpless prey for my hunter THE LONELINESS CURSE.
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